i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
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