Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
