We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
