I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
