If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
