I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
