Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
So vagazzling was a success
He did a backflip because drugs
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
