Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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