She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
