how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
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