I skipped work to stalk him.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
birth control should be required to get into college
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
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