Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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