The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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