I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
