She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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