I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
