I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
