Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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