we're blogging at a bar
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
