I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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