I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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