The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
