Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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