I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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