Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
