if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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