is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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