is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
