Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
