i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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