After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
