that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
