the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
