Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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