I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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