There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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