Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize