Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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