Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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