she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
