What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
