The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
