That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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