i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My liver just had a heart attack.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
