What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
love makes seman taste better
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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