dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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