Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
