oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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