Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
