he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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