I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
